How To Save Your Marriage From Disaster

Most marriages encounter serious crises after they have gone through a disaster of some kind.Most of such marriages end up later in divorce courts.Rescuing a marriage from failing after a disaster might seem to be a difficult challenge,but it can be done.Couples facing horrible disasters go through an intense stress that usually ends up being too much to bear.In situations like these it is important to know how to save your marriage.

Which type of disaster are we talking about?Well the disaster can range from emotional(like the death of a love one),social and even financial disasters like the economic crisis we are facing today.It can be a natural disaster or an act of hatred by some unknown entity.May be an illness attacking one of you or any thing for that matter that may be causing your world to fall apart.


Before learning how to save your marriage from any disaster it is important to know and understand that we humans are all different from each other and we act and react differently.The most obvious is the difference between how a man and a woman might handle a situation.While others are more outward and more obvious in their grieving others are rather repressive with their feelings.Accepting this and coming to understand it will help you in the long run to rescue your relationship.

Just like understanding that individuals are different,it is important to note too that grief or sadness brings out the worst in people and negative characters are often zoomed out or exaggerated.You have to understand why certain changes are taking place in the personality of your partner.You should be experiencing such changes as well.You will want to be alert in situations like these,don't excuse the behavior and don't let harmful behaviors ruin things more but understand what is happening.

The best possibilities to deal with situations like these in such critical times are,seeking the help of your priest or pastor if you are religious and counseling for those who can afford it.

For those who can not afford counseling or are not religious or those who want to simply handle the situation themselves there are other suggestions that can help you go through times like this.

*committing to each other;

By placing your commitment to each other that you will get through this as a team.That is supporting and understanding each other being a priest or therapist when you should be one or just simply being a shoulder to cry on.

*Finding a support team;

It is true that there is strength in numbers.So finding others who have gone through this,Family members or friends whom you trust and who understand the situation to help you go through this.

*Finding a reason to laugh again;

Finding a reason to laugh will not only give you a break from the stress you are going through it will actually make you feel better.So spending more time with fun loving individuals or watching those funny programs on TV will be of great help.

Saying "i do",for "better or worst",means a great deal.And this crises may just be one of those "better or worst" you promised to undergo.So it is worth going through it step by step,one day after another,after all it will only make your relationship stronger if you can and are determined to save your marriage.

Best wishes

3 Keys To Transform Your Marriage

Recognizing you have a marriage problem is the first step along the road to transforming your marriage, and for most simply acknowledging there is a problem shatters the marriage myth. According to love stories, movies, and fairy tales we are supposed to live 'happily ever after'. But what happens when Snow White develops a drinking problem? What happens when Robin Hood's long working hours start affecting his marriage to Maid Marian? What happens when Cinderella says she has 'fallen out of love'?

We are taught in school how to do sums, how to read and recognize Shakespeare, and how to conduct scientific experiments, but what do we really know about the greatest social experiment of all, namely our ability to keep the love alive in our marriage?

The fact is we know surprisingly little, and from the moment we say "I do," we are literally flying by the seat of our pants. We don't get a manual or a textbook telling us how to get it right, so our marriage becomes an evolving set of experiments, learning and discovering more and more about ourselves and each other, and figuring out what works and what doesn't. Some say if we don't make mistakes we don't really learn, but what do those mistakes cost us, and is the cost too high for some couples?

That's why I have 3 ways to instantly transform your marriage. These are 3 things that you know will work and will help you get your marriage back on track. Let's call this your error-free way to redeem yourself and your marriage in the eyes of your partner and show them that you are committed to making positive changes in your marriage.

The first key to transforming your marriage is to stop looking at your issues on a case-by-case basis. Couples that try to solve arguments by going into the small details of every argument are never really going to deal with the big stuff. I'm talking about the issues that REALLY matter in your marriage, and the issues that keep coming up in every disagreement.

Spend too much time at work? Partner feeling unappreciated? Don't make love as much as you used to? Either of you feeling unfulfilled by your lifestyle or the relationship? Is the communication poor in your relationship? Does your need to always be right override the feelings of your partner? Spend less time worrying about the details and more time examining the issues and themes behind your arguments.

* The issue is your job. The theme behind this may be balance between work and home life.
* The issue is you not doing enough chores. The theme behind may be that you are being invited into making a greater contribution into coupledom.
* The issue is your partner being grumpy with you all the time. The theme is your partner needing to feel validated in the relationship

If you have a greater understanding of what the key themes are behind your marriage issues you are better able to develop effective solutions that will really make a difference.

The second key to transforming your relationship is to examine your beliefs about marriage. It's okay to not have the fairytale marriage. Even the best couples don't always get it right. But what makes the imperfections good or bad is how you choose as a couple to deal with it. When you disagree about something, do you sit down and talk about it, or is your first instinct to deny that there is a problem and hope that it will all go away?

You need to understand that it is okay to be imperfect. In fact, admitting this to yourself and your partner can be one of the most liberating actions you take in transforming your marriage. Admitting your imperfections exposes a vulnerability that can bring you closer together as you find ways to get some meaning out of your issues. Acknowledging that you do make mistakes can open the door to acknowledging that there is a better way to do things, and one of the lessons we are called into as a couple is finding that solution together. Make a list of things that you have learnt since you got married, and a list of areas that you as a couple can both improve on. Then try sharing that list with your partner and ask them to contribute their thoughts.

The third key to transforming your relationship is in recognizing the differences between men and women, and acknowledging the importance of both roles in the relationship. Just because your partner views something different to you doesn't make them wrong, and the same goes for you. There are often several interpretations of the truth, and the key to marriage success is in recognizing that women and men have key fundamental differences in the way they view things. For men, their view may be a much more task-oriented approach to fixing an issue, where a woman may focus more on the emotional process as you both navigate your way through marriage issues. While both approaches are different, with compromise they can both achieve the same result.

Write down 5 themes or issues. Then I want you to write down 5 task-oriented ways of trying to solve the situation. Then list 5 thoughts-based ways of communicating your way to a solution.

The first step to transforming your marriage is in transforming YOU. Being married can be scary enough, but having marriage problems and not knowing how to fix them can be paralyzing! All it takes is the ability to step outside your day-to-day issues and look at different ways of viewing your marriage. Every marriage problem invites you into growing and offers you and your partner the opportunity to learn.

Now it's up to you to take what you have learned and apply it to YOUR marriage. You too can have a fairytale marriage!

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