How To Save Your Marriage From Disaster

Most marriages encounter serious crises after they have gone through a disaster of some kind.Most of such marriages end up later in divorce courts.Rescuing a marriage from failing after a disaster might seem to be a difficult challenge,but it can be done.Couples facing horrible disasters go through an intense stress that usually ends up being too much to bear.In situations like these it is important to know how to save your marriage.

Which type of disaster are we talking about?Well the disaster can range from emotional(like the death of a love one),social and even financial disasters like the economic crisis we are facing today.It can be a natural disaster or an act of hatred by some unknown entity.May be an illness attacking one of you or any thing for that matter that may be causing your world to fall apart.

Before learning how to save your marriage from any disaster it is important to know and understand that we humans are all different from each other and we act and react differently.The most obvious is the difference between how a man and a woman might handle a situation.While others are more outward and more obvious in their grieving others are rather repressive with their feelings.Accepting this and coming to understand it will help you in the long run to rescue your relationship.

Just like understanding that individuals are different,it is important to note too that grief or sadness brings out the worst in people and negative characters are often zoomed out or exaggerated.You have to understand why certain changes are taking place in the personality of your partner.You should be experiencing such changes as well.You will want to be alert in situations like these,don't excuse the behavior and don't let harmful behaviors ruin things more but understand what is happening.

The best possibilities to deal with situations like these in such critical times are,seeking the help of your priest or pastor if you are religious and counseling for those who can afford it.

For those who can not afford counseling or are not religious or those who want to simply handle the situation themselves there are other suggestions that can help you go through times like this.

*committing to each other;

By placing your commitment to each other that you will get through this as a team.That is supporting and understanding each other being a priest or therapist when you should be one or just simply being a shoulder to cry on.

*Finding a support team;

It is true that there is strength in numbers.So finding others who have gone through this,Family members or friends whom you trust and who understand the situation to help you go through this.

*Finding a reason to laugh again;

Finding a reason to laugh will not only give you a break from the stress you are going through it will actually make you feel better.So spending more time with fun loving individuals or watching those funny programs on TV will be of great help.

Saying "i do",for "better or worst",means a great deal.And this crises may just be one of those "better or worst" you promised to undergo.So it is worth going through it step by step,one day after another,after all it will only make your relationship stronger if you can and are determined to save your marriage.

Best wishes


photo by Kaymoshusband
Just got one of Michael Webs weekly mails and thought it is worth sharing this one with you.It focuses on 3 Big F's which Should not be lacking in any relationship (Fighting, Forgiving and Forgetting).So if your relationship is short of any of these 3 factors then it is worth reading this article.

Most couples fight. And no, it is not healthy for a relationship
to fight (nor is it healthy to ignore problems in your marriage).
I need to define "fight." Fighting is not the same as arguing
your point or disagreeing on a matter. You can argue or disagree
without losing your temper or fighting. It becomes a fight when
either tempers flare or one person intentionally tries to hurt the
other, usually emotionally.

But the fight itself is not usually what is the most damaging to
a relationship. Like a wound that is not properly cleaned and
bandaged, injuries from a fight, if left uncared for can become
infected and even have the potential to kill a relationship.

You have probably heard of cases where men or women had a simple
infection that they ignored that eventually caused them to have a
foot, leg or arm amputated. Ignoring the wounds from a fight can
have devastating results.

If you and your partner have had a fight, here are some ways you can
"clean and bandage" the wounds so that healing will take place:

It takes two to fight. So if you have any injuries you are
partly to blame. There are rarely "innocent" victims. Admit the
role you played. Try to be the first to say "I'm sorry" for your
part in the fight, either provoking it or responding to it.

Deal with the wound as soon as is possible (before you go to
bed). The longer you let an injury remain wide open, the greater
the chances of the hurt becoming infected and the more pronounced
the scar will become.

Create a peace treaty. Really. Write down promises you can make
to each other so this same issue will not result in another fight.

Don't fixate on the ugly wound. Focus on (write down if possible)
the wonderful qualities of your mate. It is easier to forgive
those you think highly of.

Actively love the person you just fought with, even if it is
the last thing you want to do. Write love notes, slow dance, make
passionate love, etc. Love is a wonderful ointment that speeds up
the healing process.

Pray (together if at all possible) about the situation. Ask God
to heal you of your imperfections and to heal the pain you have
caused. Don't ask God to "fix" the other person.

Once you have cleaned and bandaged a wound, forget about it.
Don't be tempted to keeping peeking at the injury - it will only
slow down the healing.


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