How To Save Your Marriage From Disaster

Most marriages encounter serious crises after they have gone through a disaster of some kind.Most of such marriages end up later in divorce courts.Rescuing a marriage from failing after a disaster might seem to be a difficult challenge,but it can be done.Couples facing horrible disasters go through an intense stress that usually ends up being too much to bear.In situations like these it is important to know how to save your marriage.

Which type of disaster are we talking about?Well the disaster can range from emotional(like the death of a love one),social and even financial disasters like the economic crisis we are facing today.It can be a natural disaster or an act of hatred by some unknown entity.May be an illness attacking one of you or any thing for that matter that may be causing your world to fall apart.


Before learning how to save your marriage from any disaster it is important to know and understand that we humans are all different from each other and we act and react differently.The most obvious is the difference between how a man and a woman might handle a situation.While others are more outward and more obvious in their grieving others are rather repressive with their feelings.Accepting this and coming to understand it will help you in the long run to rescue your relationship.

Just like understanding that individuals are different,it is important to note too that grief or sadness brings out the worst in people and negative characters are often zoomed out or exaggerated.You have to understand why certain changes are taking place in the personality of your partner.You should be experiencing such changes as well.You will want to be alert in situations like these,don't excuse the behavior and don't let harmful behaviors ruin things more but understand what is happening.

The best possibilities to deal with situations like these in such critical times are,seeking the help of your priest or pastor if you are religious and counseling for those who can afford it.

For those who can not afford counseling or are not religious or those who want to simply handle the situation themselves there are other suggestions that can help you go through times like this.

*committing to each other;

By placing your commitment to each other that you will get through this as a team.That is supporting and understanding each other being a priest or therapist when you should be one or just simply being a shoulder to cry on.

*Finding a support team;

It is true that there is strength in numbers.So finding others who have gone through this,Family members or friends whom you trust and who understand the situation to help you go through this.

*Finding a reason to laugh again;

Finding a reason to laugh will not only give you a break from the stress you are going through it will actually make you feel better.So spending more time with fun loving individuals or watching those funny programs on TV will be of great help.

Saying "i do",for "better or worst",means a great deal.And this crises may just be one of those "better or worst" you promised to undergo.So it is worth going through it step by step,one day after another,after all it will only make your relationship stronger if you can and are determined to save your marriage.

Best wishes

SECRETS OF BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS

photo by Kaymoshusband
Just got one of Michael Webs weekly mails and thought it is worth sharing this one with you.It focuses on 3 Big F's which Should not be lacking in any relationship (Fighting, Forgiving and Forgetting).So if your relationship is short of any of these 3 factors then it is worth reading this article.

Most couples fight. And no, it is not healthy for a relationship
to fight (nor is it healthy to ignore problems in your marriage).
I need to define "fight." Fighting is not the same as arguing
your point or disagreeing on a matter. You can argue or disagree
without losing your temper or fighting. It becomes a fight when
either tempers flare or one person intentionally tries to hurt the
other, usually emotionally.

But the fight itself is not usually what is the most damaging to
a relationship. Like a wound that is not properly cleaned and
bandaged, injuries from a fight, if left uncared for can become
infected and even have the potential to kill a relationship.

You have probably heard of cases where men or women had a simple
infection that they ignored that eventually caused them to have a
foot, leg or arm amputated. Ignoring the wounds from a fight can
have devastating results.

If you and your partner have had a fight, here are some ways you can
"clean and bandage" the wounds so that healing will take place:

It takes two to fight. So if you have any injuries you are
partly to blame. There are rarely "innocent" victims. Admit the
role you played. Try to be the first to say "I'm sorry" for your
part in the fight, either provoking it or responding to it.

Deal with the wound as soon as is possible (before you go to
bed). The longer you let an injury remain wide open, the greater
the chances of the hurt becoming infected and the more pronounced
the scar will become.

Create a peace treaty. Really. Write down promises you can make
to each other so this same issue will not result in another fight.

Don't fixate on the ugly wound. Focus on (write down if possible)
the wonderful qualities of your mate. It is easier to forgive
those you think highly of.

Actively love the person you just fought with, even if it is
the last thing you want to do. Write love notes, slow dance, make
passionate love, etc. Love is a wonderful ointment that speeds up
the healing process.

Pray (together if at all possible) about the situation. Ask God
to heal you of your imperfections and to heal the pain you have
caused. Don't ask God to "fix" the other person.

Once you have cleaned and bandaged a wound, forget about it.
Don't be tempted to keeping peeking at the injury - it will only
slow down the healing.

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Going Beyond the Edge of" Valentine's Day"

In this blog we have been dishing out powerful tips on how to get your relationship on track.Most of these tips have been emphasizing on rekindling the romance in your relationship.Now is a great opportunity for every one to take their relationship to the next level."Valentine's Day Gift" can be that days gift to say go...

With the great economic depression
we are hoping the stimulus package is what will save the economy right.Where will i have my own stimulus package to kick start or save my relationship?(be careful you are thinking so loud i can hear what you are thinking).I can't blame you the economic depression is making us all think like that too.

Now i want you to consider this free"Valentine's Day Gift ideas"as you relationship stimulus package.Please when you get this relationship stimulus package do not celebrate Valentines day like an obligation rather than a celebration.

The first package is a self made coupons.
All you have to do is create a self made coupon or go to AmericanGreetings(it is FREE)and create a self made printable coupon.This self coupons can Cary offers such as(free manicure, free facial, free foot rub, free I'm Sorry, free day with the guys, free wash and wax, free 'I don't want to have to go to ________, free to do what I want to do day,etc You get the point.

The second package is the spell it out.
This is just a simple way of making your partner have a smile on his or her face before meeting you for a romantic dinner any were of your choice.For example you lover is out for work or you send him/her out for an errant just so you have enough time to plan out your "Valentine's Day Gift".As soon as your partner is out you can by leaving a note with the spelling "I LOVE YOU"on the floor just inside the front door.Then drop other notes(I MISSED YOU,MY WORLD WILL STOP MOVING WITH OUT YOU etc) around were you know for show your partner will visit as soon as he/she returns(the kitchen,bath etc).Then the last note is a description to the place were you most have plant a romantic dinner for two.

The next relationship stimulus package for Valentine's Day is for those in a distance relationship.This one is called "VALENTINES IN A BOX".You can post a box full of the ideas on how you would have spent the romantic day with him/her.A "VALENTINES IN A BOX" can be pact up in this order first
-a note of regret not being able to spend the day with him/her.
-Then candles and a bottle of wine (candle light dinner).

- The next a movie with a note attached to it saying how you would spend the night cuddled in each others arms watching a movie.
-Finally with a note explaining how you would end the evening cuddled up reminiscing over the "story" of how your love has grown. And of course ...fill every empty space.
With a gratifying and inexpensive relationship stimulus package like this to kick start or rekindle your relationship with the opportunity taken of giving a"Valentine's Day Gift" no one and i mean no one should complain of an economic depression or that they do not know how to bring back the romance in their relationship.

So here is the question at hand...

Is valentine's day the most or least romantic day of the year for you and why?

Go on the comment box and drop down what you think

How To Identify Problems in Your Relationship

Before you can choose the proper persuasion techniques in your relationship, you will need to consider what you want to change and what is causing the problem in the first place. Sometimes it’s not as simple as wanting something to change, you need to know what you’re up against.

What’s happened to you?

A lot of couples can undergo relationship troubles when there’s been a significant event that has affected them. The death of a family member, a pet, health problems, legal troubles, drug problems, and mental issues can all contribute to problems in a relationship when they’re not sufficiently handled. Take the time to inventory your past few months to see what may have been the trigger for the problems that you’re having right now. Think about the time frame of the problems that you are facing. Has it been a recent thing or have you been having troubles for a longer period of time?

What’s going on?

Having problems is so vague that you might want to sit down and really define what has changed for you in your relationship. Instead of saying that things aren’t good or that you wish things were better, what is happening right now that isn’t something that you like? Are you talking less? Are you seeing each other less? Is one partner abusive? Try to figure out the action that is causing stress in your relationship so that you have a focal point for further discussions.

This isn’t just about you

While you’re at it, you need to start asking your partner as well what they think the problem is. Sometimes you need that outside perspective in order to get a handle on the direction that you need to go in. Try to approach your partner not from the perspective of blame, but rather from the viewpoint that you want to make things better. This is not the time to say that someone is wrong, but that you want to figure out what is making you both unhappy.

Deciding that you’re the only one in the relationship whose opinion matters is an easy way to cause more problems – even when you don’t actually think that. Your partner does not want you to attack them for things that have happened and it can feel like an attack when you’re the only one doing the talking. You need to take the time to listen to your partner and really come to an understanding about what they need from you.

And what if your partner doesn’t think anything is wrong?

An interesting situation that you might find yourself in is when your partner decides and answers that nothing is wrong. And what do you do then? When your partner is obviously unhappy – distant, avoiding you, etc. – you will want to approach him or her differently. Sometimes making a date to talk and to figure out what you’re not happy will be all the impetus for your partner to start revealing what’s going on in their head.

They need to feel like you aren’t going to attack them for having problems with your relationship, so make sure that you allow them to have whatever feelings they have without saying that they are wrong. What you want to do is tell them that you’re genuinely interested in making your relationship better and that by finding out what they think, you’ll be able to make them happy as well.

When you have figured it out

It can take time to really determine what the real problems in a relationship are, but once you do, you need to take action immediately. This could come in the form of discussing each other’s needs and what solutions they might propose as well as sitting with your own feelings to see what solutions you might have for the other person. It all comes down to communicating with each other and seeing what the relationship needs to become stronger.

Some couples find that talking works well to solve problems, while others like to write down their feelings and then share them. Whatever seems to allow you both to express your feelings honestly and accurately – do that. What’s great about relationship problems is that most of them can be solved with a little patience and a lot of talking. You just need to get started.

About The Author
Cucan Pemo
Relationship Tips - Relationship Advice - Relationship Help
http://www.retrievealover.com/home.htm
Hidden Persuasion Secrets In Relationships: How to command attention, change Minds, influence people, and get what you want in life and Love. Thousands of satisfied readers cannot go wrong!

More free family and relationship tips available here.
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Relationship Rescue: Body Language Basics For Relationship Rescue.

photo by shuaib_y

Adjusting your body language may just be the be the key to your relationship rescue.You most have known by now that comunication is a vital part, the foundation of any relationship.Actually most relationship in crises stems from the fact that there is a lack of comunication.

According to studies carried out over 50% of your communication comes from your body language – what you DON’T say and less then 8% of your communication comes from what you DO say.Therefore relationship rescue start with understanding body language.

This means to pay extra attention to how you say things, how you stand, how you act than it is to what you say.

The trueth is relationship rescueing is soo much easer if you understand the body language of your partner since you can use that to read his/her mind.That is how powerful body language is if you only use it well.(if you want more advance details concerning body language you can check it out here)

Below are 4 basic body language tips you must know.

1. Smile

Always smile at your partner it makes your partner feel at ease and comfortable.You also need to let your partner know that you are confident and comfortable around he/she. A big and genuine smile is the best way to do this. It works. In fact, if you ever get in a situation that you can tell your partner is about to give you the “dead ear”during a relationship rescue, give him/her a big smile. Practice smiling at random people. You’ll be surprised by how many people smile back and at how many doors open to you. Smiling WORKS. Just don’t make it a cheesy, fake smile ;)

2. Eye contact

This greatly differs in culture.There are some cultures that do not permit a woman to look straight in to the eyes of a man. That is considered disrespectful as oposed to the western world were when one does not maintain eye contact is considered disrespectful and it show the person is not listerning to the speaker.

In the cultures were eye contact is maintain do it but not too much because it can be intimidating during arelationship rescue .If you aim to have eye contact with your partner around 70% of the time you are talking, this should be comfortable for most people.Eye contact can make serious connections within people. They say the eyes are a window to the soul and I think there may be some truth to that.

Remember maintain eye contact. Not too much, about 70% of conversation time. Be natural.

3. Upright posture

Guys can get away with a bit of a hunch, but women really do prefer men with straight, upright postures. Look at all the big film actors like Pitt, Cruise etc. They all have good posture. It says to a woman you are confident, healthy, and strong (at least in mind). It’s just generally more attractive and says lots when having a relationship rescue talk. Plus it’s good for your back and will help strengthen your back muscles making it easier to maintain.

Get into the HABIT of having an upright posture.

4. Gesticulate with open palms

Basically, when you are talking to your partner and trying to make a point (that puts you in a positive light) or defend yourself (for example, your partner suggests you might be cheeting on him/her) you talk and using your hands you have open palms facing upwards. Keep your arms in front of your body with your palms facing the sky and smile when you are involved in your relationship rescue talk.

It works VERY well on a subconscious level to suggest you are being honest and telling the truthand truthis what realy rescue a relationship some times from problems. And if you want your partner to begin to trust you again, making him/her think you are being straight with him/her, is important.

This open palm gesticulation MUST be combined with a smile to work effectively.

Those are the basics of body language, if you'd like to learn more visit Tiffany Taylor's

Relationship Problems And True Love

Is it true Love alone can take you through your relationship problems to a better and blissful one?

I do not want to go in to the argument of whether love is real in the first place or not because every one is entitle to his or her philosophy or opiniun.I for one i believe there is love and it exist in reality other wise why are people offering their life every day for the protection of their country or loved ones.

I do also believe there is in every human being an iota of love deep down each and every one of us.But the way we express it is what brings evil on earth.For example committing suicides or killing another person in the name of love might actually be love but expressed in an evil way.

Now going back to our original topic or question.Can true love alone take you through your relationship problems to a blissful one?

To my opinion again love can do any thing you want it to do example build a stable relationship,improve your health and even wealth just about any thing just as it can destroy your relationship,health and even wealth.It all depends on those involved in the relationship and how well they understand the word love.

Now giving you the real meaning of love can take us another day and a whole new blog.For me its the simple definition of doing unto others what you want done to you.Definitely no one with a clear brain will ever want harm or any pain for that matter done to him/her.

So with this in mind i would like to come to a conclusion or at least an answer to the question above by saying yes love can take you through your relationship problems to a blissful one if you love the other person unconditionally as you do yourself.Loving some one unconditionally is Knowing that the one you love is also a human like you, who makes mistake like you.And that you are prepared to forgive those mistakes and move on to a better life like you do forgive yourself from time to time and move on.

A relationship with this type of love even if its coming just from you alone is like a firm foundation of a tower being build with the sky as its limit.With a foundation of love like this not even a tsunami of any evil that destroys relationship can over come that.

However i am not saying you should go to the extent of risking your life for a joke who is very problematic and can not grow up.Take care for now and good luck